This year is my 15th birthday since I have made my commitment to Christ. It was not a smooth walk whatsoever, let me assure you of that! I was 11 or 12 when I first met Jesus. The Soviet Union just fell apart .
I remember clearly receiving my call for ministry at the age 14 or 15. I remember how God dealt with me. Let me tell you my idea of being a Christian already at that age (just thinking about that now, I cannot believe how much enemy polluted my mind by that time): my idea of a good Christian was to sit in the back rows of the church, show up there once a week , twice if there is special going on, and that's about it. I was planning to live a good, Christ-seeking life, but, really, didn't plan to do anything extra special. Since my early childhood, one of my biggest fears was speaking in front of people, no matter how big the crowd was. It is still in me, till this very day I am scared of public speaking. Hard to believe, huh? Who would have known that the very thing that makes me uncomfortable God will use to fulfill His purpose in my life.
So, anyways, here I am a teenager with a very "good" plan of being and staying a Christian. The funny thing- I wasn't the only one who thought of that! I had a good friend Katya and we happened to think alike....Until one summer we went to a youth camp and God just crumbled every brick of the wall I have built in my heart and mind. He had called me into the ministry. There was an altar call at that camp for those who felt led by God to dedicate everything to Him for a ministry life. I remember how God spoke to me and I remember going to the altar for one reason: may be if I go closer He would hear my answer ," NO!". I went to the altar and just wept. Coming back from the camp our pastor had a meeting for those who'd like to join any kind of ministry in our church. I walk in the room and you would not believe the very first person I saw was my friend Katya! She looked at me like I had 3 heads. I remember her whispering to me ," I guess we can't stay satisfied being ineffective ourselves, huh?"...I just nodded.
Since that summer on- my walk with God had been a rollercoaster! For the next 2 years I was fully involved in all kinds of stuff happening in the church. I knew God was up to something BIG and that made me nervous.
It was summer 1998 the year I graduated. I have heard of a team of young people who was going to another city to open a new church. Someone asked me to go. I did everything possible to do so. My mom (who wasn't Christian at the time) could not understand why I wanted to go so badly. She reasoned with me very hard. I went at far as to purposely fail my college exams, so I'd be free to go. You should have seen my face, when I saw my name on the list of those who were accepted! Bummer! I ended up in college for the next year and doing ministry at my church.
In the summer of 1999 I went with my mom to Moscow where my brother was being commissioned as a pastor alone with a bunch of other people who graduated from the Bible School. I remember sitting there and watching all the people on the stage who were living for God to the fullest and asking God, "not fair! how come I can't go? Why did you even put such a burning desire in my heart to go, when I can't do it?!"....while I sat and argued with God I didn't notice another person sitting next to me. I looked at him and smiled. He said ," I've been praying , Lenna. We are making 4 missionary teams this summer to go to Republic of Georgia, Ukraine, Moldova and one will stay here in Russia. I was wondering if you're free this summer. Would you be interested to go?". My chin dropped. The speed of my thought process would definitely be considered illegal ! :) Am I free? Am I free? Are you kidding me? You bet I am free this summer! Little did I know- that man just opened a door for something that would change me for life. Once I tasted the sweet bite of a full time ministry and a mission life- I was never the same!
God had a hand in all of that! So I am going to the person in charge of the trip and fully prepared to give him my answer, which was ," I'd like to join the team to Ukraine". I open my mouth and to my surprise my lips are saying something different! I told him I’d LOVE to go to Republic of Georgia! (which at that time was recovering from civil war). He was so excited and told me, "oh, praise GOD! nobody wanted to go to Georgia! your team is the smallest one!"..."Did I just say Georgia? ".....I was still in shock of my sudden change of plans. How am I going to tell my mom? Ukraine is safe! Georgia- not really! I thought of testing the waters and went to my good friend to tell her what I just did. Her response was "are you nuts?!?!?!"..hmm.. that didn't go as good... So, I decided to just play it cool. I walk to my mom and brother who were eating , sat next to them and under one breath told them what I just did. They stopped chewing. I chewed very fast! :)
That summer I went to Republic of Georgia- just to fall in love with a new way of ministry. We did summer camps, we organized open air meetings, we helped out in all kinds of churches. It was there I made a decision to come back. I went home that summer just to tell my mom I am leaving again- for one year. One year was the deal I made with God. He kept me there for 4 years. It was not always the best and smooth. I have cried so many tears there, and only God knows how many times I packed to go back and stomping my feet, tell God pouting ,"it's just not fair! it's too hard! I think I am done having fun". Then God will speak to me and I will give Him "another chance" as if He needed one and I stayed for a little longer.
I think among thousands of other things He was teaching that in every ministry in every walk with God at some point the honeymoon comes to a close and comes the season of maturing, growing, sharpening and going deeper. That season may not feel like honeymoon, but if we want to be solid, mature Christians-we are wise to embrace that season. This season is not over for me yet, but looking back I can confidently say that I have learned the best lessons there.
Republic of Georgia is a small country with lots of problems. Their official country religion is Christianity. In a forth century a woman named Nino had accepted Christ in Greece and wanted to share with her country people that great treasure. She walked all the way from Greece to Georgia. She had made a cross from the branches of the vine. On her way she was brutally attacked and beaten up. Her attackers broke her cross. She cut her hair and tried to fix it, the cross was never the same, it’s sides pointed down. Georgians decided to keep it that way to remind themselves how much Christianity cost them. Nino is called a spiritual mother of the country. With centuries their passion for Christ had grown into a ritual and simple religion. They forgot why they did what they did in church. Most of them honestly didn’t know. “My grandma used to do it, so I guess that’s what we’re supposed do”- was a common thing to hear.
But let me tell you about the passion that was reignited in them once they got a hold of the truth again! I have never seen more passionate youth and kids! My hair still stands on the back of my neck as I think of things those people did for Christ. Most of them don’t have cars, so they would walk to church several times a week. Because of a bad economy situation in the country, we often were without gas, electricity and water. We stunk, but we were happy!
Economy was not the only enemy they have to go against. Orthodox Christians persecute those of not the same belief and they tell people to stay away from us- the protestants. Till the year 2003 Georgians had only New Testament Bible in Georgian language. Our group of people worked hard to translate the whole Bible. Once it was ready and came in the country, the Orthodox mob burned the whole entire shipment. We decided to ship Bibles secretly, but somehow Orthodox mobs knew about it and they would arrive there early to set them on fire. Few times we were successful and we brought them into our church! The hunger for the Word of God still makes me jealous and increases my appetite for more of God’s word.
If I were to tell my whole 4 year life in Georgia I would ran out of space (which I probably did already)….
I once have heard a story of an old man in Canada who stood up in the church and wept bitterly saying that he was the most miserable person in the world. He was asked why. His answer shocked me ,”God called me into the ministry when I was young. I ran away from God. I wanted to keep my good Christian face, but I didn’t want to do more than that. I wrestled with God about my purpose for all the years and I thought I won. In reality- I lost. I have never lived a fulfilled life on the back row of the church. It didn’t mater what I’ve done for God when I was younger, what matters is that I failed Him today”.
I am reminded of Joseph’s dream interpretation in Genesis 41 about 7 sick cows consuming the 7 fat once; and 7 thin heads of grain consuming the 7 healthy heads of grain. This story is a real warning for us. No matter how many victories we had in the past, they won’t make up for the failures of today. Our God can use failures of the past and turn them into victory today, but not the other way around!
Georgia used to live for God, but now it is bound in the chains of rituals, even though they have victories in the past. An old gentleman from Canada had some victories in the past but once he ran from God- his past victories didn’t do much.
I never use my missionary experience as my wild card for God, because I know it can’t make up for my today’s choices.
God is calling us from the back pews of the church to come to live a life in Him and live it abundantly! I am not satisfied with only my old victories (although they were tremendous at the time!), I want more of God than stale crumbs of yesterday memories. I want a taste of freshly baked victories today with God!
“But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession
I remember clearly receiving my call for ministry at the age 14 or 15. I remember how God dealt with me. Let me tell you my idea of being a Christian already at that age (just thinking about that now, I cannot believe how much enemy polluted my mind by that time): my idea of a good Christian was to sit in the back rows of the church, show up there once a week , twice if there is special going on, and that's about it. I was planning to live a good, Christ-seeking life, but, really, didn't plan to do anything extra special. Since my early childhood, one of my biggest fears was speaking in front of people, no matter how big the crowd was. It is still in me, till this very day I am scared of public speaking. Hard to believe, huh? Who would have known that the very thing that makes me uncomfortable God will use to fulfill His purpose in my life.
So, anyways, here I am a teenager with a very "good" plan of being and staying a Christian. The funny thing- I wasn't the only one who thought of that! I had a good friend Katya and we happened to think alike....Until one summer we went to a youth camp and God just crumbled every brick of the wall I have built in my heart and mind. He had called me into the ministry. There was an altar call at that camp for those who felt led by God to dedicate everything to Him for a ministry life. I remember how God spoke to me and I remember going to the altar for one reason: may be if I go closer He would hear my answer ," NO!". I went to the altar and just wept. Coming back from the camp our pastor had a meeting for those who'd like to join any kind of ministry in our church. I walk in the room and you would not believe the very first person I saw was my friend Katya! She looked at me like I had 3 heads. I remember her whispering to me ," I guess we can't stay satisfied being ineffective ourselves, huh?"...I just nodded.
Since that summer on- my walk with God had been a rollercoaster! For the next 2 years I was fully involved in all kinds of stuff happening in the church. I knew God was up to something BIG and that made me nervous.
It was summer 1998 the year I graduated. I have heard of a team of young people who was going to another city to open a new church. Someone asked me to go. I did everything possible to do so. My mom (who wasn't Christian at the time) could not understand why I wanted to go so badly. She reasoned with me very hard. I went at far as to purposely fail my college exams, so I'd be free to go. You should have seen my face, when I saw my name on the list of those who were accepted! Bummer! I ended up in college for the next year and doing ministry at my church.
In the summer of 1999 I went with my mom to Moscow where my brother was being commissioned as a pastor alone with a bunch of other people who graduated from the Bible School. I remember sitting there and watching all the people on the stage who were living for God to the fullest and asking God, "not fair! how come I can't go? Why did you even put such a burning desire in my heart to go, when I can't do it?!"....while I sat and argued with God I didn't notice another person sitting next to me. I looked at him and smiled. He said ," I've been praying , Lenna. We are making 4 missionary teams this summer to go to Republic of Georgia, Ukraine, Moldova and one will stay here in Russia. I was wondering if you're free this summer. Would you be interested to go?". My chin dropped. The speed of my thought process would definitely be considered illegal ! :) Am I free? Am I free? Are you kidding me? You bet I am free this summer! Little did I know- that man just opened a door for something that would change me for life. Once I tasted the sweet bite of a full time ministry and a mission life- I was never the same!
God had a hand in all of that! So I am going to the person in charge of the trip and fully prepared to give him my answer, which was ," I'd like to join the team to Ukraine". I open my mouth and to my surprise my lips are saying something different! I told him I’d LOVE to go to Republic of Georgia! (which at that time was recovering from civil war). He was so excited and told me, "oh, praise GOD! nobody wanted to go to Georgia! your team is the smallest one!"..."Did I just say Georgia? ".....I was still in shock of my sudden change of plans. How am I going to tell my mom? Ukraine is safe! Georgia- not really! I thought of testing the waters and went to my good friend to tell her what I just did. Her response was "are you nuts?!?!?!"..hmm.. that didn't go as good... So, I decided to just play it cool. I walk to my mom and brother who were eating , sat next to them and under one breath told them what I just did. They stopped chewing. I chewed very fast! :)
That summer I went to Republic of Georgia- just to fall in love with a new way of ministry. We did summer camps, we organized open air meetings, we helped out in all kinds of churches. It was there I made a decision to come back. I went home that summer just to tell my mom I am leaving again- for one year. One year was the deal I made with God. He kept me there for 4 years. It was not always the best and smooth. I have cried so many tears there, and only God knows how many times I packed to go back and stomping my feet, tell God pouting ,"it's just not fair! it's too hard! I think I am done having fun". Then God will speak to me and I will give Him "another chance" as if He needed one and I stayed for a little longer.
I think among thousands of other things He was teaching that in every ministry in every walk with God at some point the honeymoon comes to a close and comes the season of maturing, growing, sharpening and going deeper. That season may not feel like honeymoon, but if we want to be solid, mature Christians-we are wise to embrace that season. This season is not over for me yet, but looking back I can confidently say that I have learned the best lessons there.
Republic of Georgia is a small country with lots of problems. Their official country religion is Christianity. In a forth century a woman named Nino had accepted Christ in Greece and wanted to share with her country people that great treasure. She walked all the way from Greece to Georgia. She had made a cross from the branches of the vine. On her way she was brutally attacked and beaten up. Her attackers broke her cross. She cut her hair and tried to fix it, the cross was never the same, it’s sides pointed down. Georgians decided to keep it that way to remind themselves how much Christianity cost them. Nino is called a spiritual mother of the country. With centuries their passion for Christ had grown into a ritual and simple religion. They forgot why they did what they did in church. Most of them honestly didn’t know. “My grandma used to do it, so I guess that’s what we’re supposed do”- was a common thing to hear.
But let me tell you about the passion that was reignited in them once they got a hold of the truth again! I have never seen more passionate youth and kids! My hair still stands on the back of my neck as I think of things those people did for Christ. Most of them don’t have cars, so they would walk to church several times a week. Because of a bad economy situation in the country, we often were without gas, electricity and water. We stunk, but we were happy!
Economy was not the only enemy they have to go against. Orthodox Christians persecute those of not the same belief and they tell people to stay away from us- the protestants. Till the year 2003 Georgians had only New Testament Bible in Georgian language. Our group of people worked hard to translate the whole Bible. Once it was ready and came in the country, the Orthodox mob burned the whole entire shipment. We decided to ship Bibles secretly, but somehow Orthodox mobs knew about it and they would arrive there early to set them on fire. Few times we were successful and we brought them into our church! The hunger for the Word of God still makes me jealous and increases my appetite for more of God’s word.
If I were to tell my whole 4 year life in Georgia I would ran out of space (which I probably did already)….
I once have heard a story of an old man in Canada who stood up in the church and wept bitterly saying that he was the most miserable person in the world. He was asked why. His answer shocked me ,”God called me into the ministry when I was young. I ran away from God. I wanted to keep my good Christian face, but I didn’t want to do more than that. I wrestled with God about my purpose for all the years and I thought I won. In reality- I lost. I have never lived a fulfilled life on the back row of the church. It didn’t mater what I’ve done for God when I was younger, what matters is that I failed Him today”.
I am reminded of Joseph’s dream interpretation in Genesis 41 about 7 sick cows consuming the 7 fat once; and 7 thin heads of grain consuming the 7 healthy heads of grain. This story is a real warning for us. No matter how many victories we had in the past, they won’t make up for the failures of today. Our God can use failures of the past and turn them into victory today, but not the other way around!
Georgia used to live for God, but now it is bound in the chains of rituals, even though they have victories in the past. An old gentleman from Canada had some victories in the past but once he ran from God- his past victories didn’t do much.
I never use my missionary experience as my wild card for God, because I know it can’t make up for my today’s choices.
God is calling us from the back pews of the church to come to live a life in Him and live it abundantly! I am not satisfied with only my old victories (although they were tremendous at the time!), I want more of God than stale crumbs of yesterday memories. I want a taste of freshly baked victories today with God!
“But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession
in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance
of the knowledge of him.” ( 2 Cor.2:14)
Fragrance only smells good when it’s fresh. Let’s go and win it, guys! Let’s go today and taste today and see today that the LORD is good!
Fragrance only smells good when it’s fresh. Let’s go and win it, guys! Let’s go today and taste today and see today that the LORD is good!
2 comments:
Hey! Sto sta boy??? Eta ochen interestnya blog. Ya hachou znats kak ti e ot kooda eta bce??
Your words ring true to my heart. What is my testimony for today?? Fresh word, fresh manna, fresh withness. Do it again Lord...I want more!
What a good reminder...I'm walking with you Sister in that procession. May I continue to give Him something fresh from my life every day.
Hairs are standing up on my neck, too. I'm so glad you heeded His call then and do today, as well. I'm praying for a mighty reformation there in Georgia...He is able to accomplish it.
Blessings on your week, Friend!
Holly
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